A whole new world

Mateo started kindergarten last week and I'm home alone with Tomás for the majority of the day. Freddie lives and works in Norfolk, VA so we don't see him very often. Once again, I have to adjust. Not that I have loads of free time, but the time I do have is much more flexible since I don't have to co-op at Mateo's nursery school, pick him up, coordinate playdates and activities, entertain and feed him. Chayla is at school as well so Tomás and I play, run errands and -during his naps - have time for myself. I never thought I'd see the day! I'm trying to be productive with that time by reading, surfing the internet, getting caught up with the rest of society and writing. I don't like writing, but it's something I need to work on so this is a great place to do that. I'm keeping this blog as well as starting a blog geared towards helping other military spouses. It's really just posts about some of my experiences and what I've learned. I hope it can help others in my situation. Please feel free to check it out and share it! http://nyams-notyouraveragemilitaryspouse.blogspot.com

Back on the horse

It's been more than a year since I last posted and a lot has happened. Primarliy, I had my second son, Tomas. His birth was an incredible journey. He's six months old now and the journey continues. We bought a house in MD and I am finally laying down some roots. Freddie is living in Norfolk while we maintain our lives in MD. Chayla is in full pre-teen mode and Mateo is in full-on crazy mode. Motherhood is a whole other experience when you are juggling more than one child, a husband who is not around, deciding to settle down and doing it all alone. The hardest part to navigate is not having time to myself. That's why I decided to start posting to this blog again. It's probably the only outlet I have.

So here I sit at 10:30 at night "talking" to no one instead of just going to bed and trying to rest before Tomas starts his nightly torture test. As soon as I close my eyes that kids wakes up. I probably would feel better about everthing in life if I just could get a full nights rest.

Hopefully I will be able to keep this up because I need the outlet. Now, I'm off to my other outlet - TV!

Calm before the storm

Let's face it. I can't keep a routine for crap. It's been a month since Freddie went underway and it is only now that I pick up the blog again. It's ok. It has taken me a month to readjust to life with out Freddie. It's hard to sleep at first. It's also hard to make less food and have no one to talk to late at night. On the positive side, the need to keep busy has given us the chance for new adventures. Chayla is in a fencing class. While she fences Mateo & I play (hopscotch, kickball, sprints). Mateo is in a sports class which he loves this time around. I've started a diet. We are looking forward to lots of traveling this summer (FL, MA, VA, NYC, DC), but also the quiet of being home & enjoying each other.

Today is a cool, quiet Sunday. Chayla is with her BF, Ariel, and Mateo is napping. My Dad is in the hospital (nothing serious, thank goodness), and so the house is completely and utterly quiet. Boy, do I appreciate this! It's rare to have quiet. It allows me to think; thinking that is not frenetic nor interrupted and therefore much more productive. I have about 30 minutes more of this so I will end my entry for today and go lay down to soak in the quiet. The storm will wake from his nap soon.

Round 2

And so it begins...again. Freddie was deployed. He left on Easter Sunday and will not be back until September. Again he leaves during one season to return in another. Again, I will try to keep a blog while he's gone so that he can keerp up and catch up with us when he does get to a port. Luckily, I finally downloaded Skype and will be able to video call him when he has internet access on land.

After our Christmas vacation in Puerto Rico Freddie had been in CT pretty regularly preparing for this mission, so it never really felt like he was home. We knew early on that he was going to leave in April but we didn't know when. Then without much notice, he told he'd have to leave sooner than he even expected. We had to cancel our Spring Break trip to FL and I scrambled to plan mini-trips with the kids all week while he was at work. We actually had a great time with him last week, but his departure day came way too soon.

Now I am in single-mom mode until the Fall, although my Dad is still here to help us. I'm anxious for warm weather and new adventures with the kids. I'm worried about my job coming to an end, but excited about the possibilities even if there are none to be seen as of now. I will travel this summer, visit my friends and family, and fight the good fight against the worry and sadness that can so easily take over when your partner is not around to talk to, to comfort you, and to reassure you are doing an amazing job. I'm not alone in this endeavor. Thousands of military spouses endure much worse for much longer. I'm glad to have supportive friends and family. So if I drop by your house this summer without warning, just remember--the Navy sent me.

non-triumphs

clearly, I do not know how to stick to a plan. I wanted to blog every day, but there is nothing to share or I can't remember it. My work out routine was derailed by a cold. Now I have to start the 32 days all over again. Boo.

At 5pm I realized I completely and utterly forgot to coordinate a meeting time and place for the group of girls I (try to) mentor. They were going to a college workshop and I forgot to call them last night. Luckily it worked out but I felt like such a dumb ass. To boot, when I checkd my email I realized I forgot to cancel with a friend who had invited me over tonight. Not that she was waiting for me, but I it's pretty rude not to respond to an invite. I don't know where my head has been these past few days. Perhaps my brain isn't functioning properly due to the pressure I feel from this head cold. Maybe I need a Blackberry.

I was feeling pretty down. Then Freddie took me shopping this evening. I hate shopping. I'm too short and "stout" (as I like to put it) to make clothes shopping an enjoyable experience. My husband is great because he dragged me to a few stores, pointed out nice things and never gave up on me. I'm pretty near impossible to go shopping with. I happily report I bought an outfit. I even bought some accesories. Oh wait, just one. In any case, it was a small triumph in a day full of non-triumphs.

State of the Union

I'm too much of a fan of Obama to be genuinely critical of his speech today. I know he tried to be honest and hopeful. I'm realistic, yet optimistic. I agree with Bobby Jindal that Americans can do anything and appreciate his insight, even if it wasn't all too clear to me.

For eight years I watched Bush's speeches, not in their entirety of course, I had to read them b/c I couldn't stand his smirks or laughter. Never did he make a genuine plea to the kids in this country, but tonight Obama did. It doesn't take much to make me cry, so it's no surprise that I teared up during Obama's speech. Tomorrow I get to go to work armed with a new mantra for me and more ammo to use on the kids I work with: "when you drop out of high school, you not only quit on yourself, you quit on your country!"

The challenge

I'm pretty sure I am stealing someone else's idea, but I don't think they'll mind. I am going to share some of my goals with anyone who's interested. The idea being that I will feel more obliged to follow through with the goals since others will supposedly be paying attention to my progress. I already mentioned I wanted to keep up with this blog. The 2nd goal on my list is my 32 day challenge. Starting on my 32nd birthday I plan on going to the gym/workout for 32 days in a row! 2/32 down. While I hope to lose weight and feel stronger, the real goal is merely to make it to 32 days of physical activity. I'm not very good at maintaining anything for longer than 2 weeks so this challenge will be multifaceted.

Hopefully I can make a habit of this work-out thing. My high school friend, Angela, is a triathelte and her blog is a great inspiration and reminder to me that my pitiful 1/2 hour run is a drop in the bucket! I don't plan on an Iron Man competition in Hawaii, but I do plan on a few 5K's this year, starting with #1 on Sunday.

Wish me luck!